why can't i be the good guy in my OWN dream?

'ello all!

do you find it funny how dreams can manipulate your feelings? last night i had a dream that i woke up feeling so bad about. like guilty all over for NO real reason...

WELL i've been addicted to the Twilight series since i first started reading it back in the summer of '08.... and i wanted to read anything there was about it. I came across how Stephanie got the idea to write Twilight... it was all sparked from a dream she had. (and for you Twilighters it was the meadow scene from the first book). she took that intense scene and turned it into an entire story of forbidden R&J like love... so, I had this dream that probably when i write it out on this blog will sound like nothing substantial at all, but i do at least remember how it left me feeling in the midst and when i woke. it was most certainly INTENSE. so i'm expecting Katie to read this and think of something we could get together and write around it... alrighty... so you know dreams don't make sense and usually they jump all over the place... but here's all of what i remember...

i was part of some group. not sure if i was part of a group like cops, a mafia, a gang, I DONT KNOW... maybe i was a good guy, maybe a bad guy... but part of some group who was after someone... my initial thoughts are that this "someone" was one of our own who may have either done something against us, or we were going to trap them and frame them for something they were innocent of... well there was a plan (see i dont remember the odds and ins from the dream, or maybe those things were still missing but in dreamworld it all made sense anyways)... and in this so called "plan," the part i was set to play was the person who caught the "someone"...

is this even making sense??? sorry if it's not...

... so here i am, and i'm hanging these papers on a wall (and as weird as this is, the location that this entire dream took place was in Mawmaw's house like when i was a kid... weird??? like the furniture and everything was just like when i was a kid). i'm hanging these things waiting for this "so in so dude" to show up... and he does.... and its JOSH!? of course the bad guy (or maybe the good guy i dont know) has to be Josh!? crap, right!?... so he doesn't know what's going on, and I'm talking to him. when I saw that he was sufficiently surrounded I grabbed him up whispered in his ear so that "they" didn't hear me "I'm so so sorry, I had to! I'm sorry!" and "they" whoever "they" were TOOK him away to do who knows what with him... and that was it. . .

IT WAS HORRIBLE! i felt so terrible when i woke up like had betrayed someone i cared about... it was as if he was a Jew and i turned him over to the Nazi... i have no clue what that was all about. i have tried to decipher it all day and pretty much everything just looks and sounds like I'm a terrible person and I'm throwing him to the wolves, but i swear i'm NOT! haha I'm not that mean! I'm protective of him and would fight tooth and nail for him. and NO way would i turn him over to the authorities or whoever these people were...

i guess everyone has that group of people in their life that they would totally drag a dead body across the living room floor with (in reference to a Grey's episode talking about Meredith and Christina's friendship) .... well Josh is on that list of people for me.. but, well... come to think of it, he could probably drag a dead body across the floor on his own... and then if he did do it on his own, i would feel kinda left out ya know... hmm.. so in THAT case maybe i would rat that hooker out for not letting me join the MAFIA fun! haha OKAY i better stop talking about dragging dead murdered bodies around with Josh because the FCC already tracked him down once for me talking like that.... eep... sorry sir!

anyways i thought this was an interesting "scene" i could use for something... so i'm working out the details in my mind where one person has to betray someone they care about and in a really terrible way... that would suck no matter which person you were... and OF COURSE this same stuff is in TONS of movies... but so are scenes like "the meadow" in Twilight... the story of forbidden love of Twilight is nothing new, but a fun and fresh thing to sink your teeth into (and oh crap!... late night corny puns)... and how many more times can i say Twilight???

anyone think Twilight was better than the New Moon movie??? I kinda did... but I'm partial to the first book over the second.... there are things i really liked about New Moon *COUGH* taylor's body *COUGH*, but i'm hoping to see even more i like about it *COUGH* more of taylor's body *COUGH* when I go see it with Bran and Katie when i get home soon!!!

Rock On, God Bless, Peace Outie, and Cheers!

m.